So, a couple weeks ago. I started this book called "The Artists Way" in search for myself or my inner artist. I started this with just listening to the audio book in the car on my way to and from work generally. This book kind of was brought to my attention by an author who wanted to find her artist. Feeling desperate for self expression and to find a career in what I love to do, I picked up the book and figured "What the hey!".
The book starts you out by having you write daily morning pages. Three pages a day, and the purpose of them done in the morning is you're closer to subconsciousness. What you end up writing down is everything and anything that pops up in your mind at the time. Your morning pages is basically, your mind word vomiting onto paper. The paper doesn't judge and nobody is meant to read them.
I find myself kind of censoring myself a little. I have come accustomed to editing/censoring my life on the internet that it now shows in my daily pages. So, one of many things to work on. Morning pages help you pick out the things that need to be fixed and are bothering you. I am interested in what my mind has to say that I am not already catching in the waking life. Kind of like when people point out what has always been there but you are to blind sighted to see.
Another thing this book has you do is "Artist Dates". That's right! You take yourself out the same time once a week for a couple of hours and do something just for yourself. This I can completely get behind. I honestly miss Liz time, time to woo her back to the surface. I have been to caught up in trying to make others feel good or what others are doing, as well as, trying to keep my apartment in order and find a job! Never feels like there is enough time for myself, but that all is going to change.
In the first week of this twelve step, the author has you do a weekly check in of sorts where you ask yourself questions that matter to the whole process. I am currently in week 3 of this but since I wanted to post on here the progress and kind of set in stone what I have learned. I know I will be looking back for reference.
So, for week one she has you write twenty things you give yourself permission for. Here are mine.
1. I give myself permission to be the Liz I need to be.
2. I give myself permission to try again.
3. I give myself permission to be imperfect.
4. I give myself permission to play.
5. I give myself permission to dress more like a girl.
6. I give myself permission to ask for help.
7. I give myself permission to listen to music loud as loud as I need.
8. I give myself permission to be successful.
9. I give myself permission to be happy.
10. I give myself permission to dance!
11. I give myself permission to travel.
12. I give myself permission to ignore naysayers.
13. I give myself permission to create.
14. I give myself permission to relax a little more.
15. I give myself permission to say no to people sometime.
16. I give myself permission to stand up for myself.
17. I give myself permission to make mistakes.
18. I give myself permission to have more time to myself.
19. I give myself permission to get lost.
20. I give myself permission to accept the possibilities of the future but live for now.
Whew! That was tough! I will be back to post for week two later this week for sure. I think for now, I deserve a little bit of time on Pintrest.
I love the Liz, I hope she can stick to it cause she's amazing <3
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