I haven't forgot about you blog!

I haven't forgot about you blog!

I haven't forgotten about you my dearest bloggy! 

In the days since I last left you, I have been adjusting to working life. It started out with like a dream, with a corner office with LOTS of windows, not to bright, and a place where it was ok to laugh and adjust your desk to standing whenever the mood fancied you to do so. Then they moved my co-worker and I to a small meeting room with about 20 other contractors. I am still in the corner but I lack the windows and my desk in now a table about a foot wide and 3 feet in length, I still WAY to close to the monitors and the florescent lights are awful. I no longer have windows, I sit right under the air duct which is usually always cold. Worst of it all, all the people in the room prefer to have a constant quiet in the room, so I work in a stale quiet room and laughing is frowned upon.

I still love my job and my co-worker has now become my "partner in crime", she definitely has made that room tolerable for now and of course, we're looking for ways out of that room! I am very happy and thankful for landing this job and having one awesome co-worker. When the two of us are together in the room, we act like two kids in high school (in the good way). We giggle at the photos we correct, we make crass remarks via IM on topics we miss heard about. Now, a person in the room we and made a noise complaint to our manager. When our manger emailed us about it, I was kind of floored, aren't we all adults now? 

Now, to me the room feels like a morgue; it's cold like one, whenever I leave the room and come back I get awful looks, and it's so quiet. I definitely liked it better when I was permitted to laugh a little and I looked forward to coming. Don't get me wrong, I still look forward to this job and seeing my "partner in crime".

So, while adjusting to work, I ended up getting sick for a week and fully recovering in two weeks time.

I get off of work and I have been a zombie. I don't want to look at my computer or do anything accept sleep.

That needs to change! For one, I need to continue to learn After Effects, 3ds Max, and Japanese. I also need to work on having a workout regiment back in my schedule.  I haven't lost any significant weight while eating well and working out, but it does help with my sleep and my mood. Plus, I still really really really want to lose weight and have energy, I mean I sit all day... I need to do something!

I have been having problems with coping with life right now. I have been trying to figure out what I can do to fix this situation. I currently feel like I don't want to be an adult anymore. I feel caged in and kind of hopeless at times. I am trying so hard not to despair but owing so much money and not being able to have some freedoms. My heart is telling me there is something wonderful and great that will happen for me, but I seem to  keep losing my way from time to time. It is definitely hard to hear your heart when everyone around you is shouting for their claims. I also feel like my friends are on a whole different plain then I. I don't really get to see them much anymore, life just happens and our paths don't cross as often as I would like.

Today, while I was out and about. I thought about just running and hiding in the trees and meditating for a bit, Listening to the trees and wildlife. Sadly, I didn't do that today. When I got home in hopes of meditating of sorts, I find that I can't really connect here, although I live here and pay rent and what not, I am not feeling connected enough to just Zen out. Instead I feel lost and alone in this town home, trying to seek out other ways to occupy my mind. 

Yesterday my parents left. They were only here briefly, I feel I haven't really got the chance to spend real time with them. Sure I took them to places and what not but I didn't feel like we got enough time together. This upset me as they left for Colorado yesterday. I am however very thankful and happy that they came out to see me for that brief moment, just wish it was longer and filled with more laughter and joy.

I decided not to walk at my graduation. I am very proud of what I have done and so is my mister, but shelling out money for a gown, honor cords, and missing work just for a walk. I think just having a good dinner with my mister will make me feel just as accomplished.

I think I am done blabbing for now. Everything else is just pointless rantings like; I think I like my phone... It has a better camera on it then my Digital SLR and I found a dress with pockets!